I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
