no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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