Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize