Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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