Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
