We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
