ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
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