Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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