Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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