I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
