Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
