woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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