i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
