P.S. I can't hear my feet
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
