What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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