dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
