whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
