i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
