ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
that is very illegal...i love you.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
