Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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