I hate all girls vehemently.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Randomize
