Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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