I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
