The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
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Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
A bitchslap is in order.
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