Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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