That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
