mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
