Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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