his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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