Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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