For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
