Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
