She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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