he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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