are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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