I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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