I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
