im gay
i know
yea but for you.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
