so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
They are going to name an STD after you.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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