Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
