he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
