I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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