Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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