I just threw up on my dentist
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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