i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
