We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
