he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
