No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
