BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
