Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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