Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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