You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
