Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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