You're so nebulous sometimes
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
