So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
