I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize