There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
