that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
