Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
