You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
