Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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