I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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