one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
