I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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