Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
