I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You took a bar mat shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize