Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
